


Dry Lips Syndrome

by redhead evans (thebabytiger)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-30
Updated: 2006-04-30
Packaged: 2017-11-19 18:48:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/576491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebabytiger/pseuds/redhead%20evans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ron has a problem...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dry Lips Syndrome

Ron put the bun back on top of his burger, squishing it down so that some sauce squished out the sides and onto his plate. He could feel Hermione's disapproving gaze boring a hole in his shoulder right next to the spot where Ginny's was threatening to take his whole arm off and gulped nervously, took a deep breath, and squashed the burger down again for good measure. He lifted the burger off of his plate, letting the sauce drip on his plate, and opened his mouth wide. Okay, maybe not wide enough. He tried to open his mouth wider but was stopped by the painful stretching sensation in his lips. He put the burger down with a grimace and turned to his girlfriend.

"Hey Hermione, do you have any chap stick?" He continued quickly at her incredulous look; he really didn't want to starve. "C'mon honey, my mouth can't go any wider without splitting them open, which would mean blood and you wouldn't be able to kiss me for a while." He knew she was slightly squeamish and hoped the mere threat of blood would convince her.

He grinned triumphantly as she sighed and reached into her bag, pulling out a bright pink tube and handed it to him. He smiled nervously; chap stick tubes weren't pink in his experience. He opened it; it looked like chap stick. He shrugged slightly and put it on his lips, feeling it start to work. He handed it back to his girlfriend and picked up the sandwich again. He opened his mouth wide, no burning feeling, and put the burger in his mouth consequently putting his upper lip in close proximity to his nose. A wonderful tuti-fruity smell hit his nose and, without taking a bite, put the burger back on the plate.

"Hey what's that awesome smell?"

"That, Ronald, would be the chap stick."

"I like it!" With that exclamation he looked up at the clock, muttered something about being late to transfiguration, and walked out of the Hall, leaving the burger uneaten on his plate. Bewildered, the girls followed.

He realized that he couldn't smell the wonderful scent anymore and pouted his lips, bringing the upper one close to his nose and inhaling deeply. Satisfied he continued down the corridor, sniffing occasionally.

This continued through transfiguration without McGonagall noticing until the end of class.

"Mr. Weasley! What on God's green Earth are you doing? Are you trying to impersonate an elephant or something similar to one?" When he didn't answer she continued. "Very well, it doesn't matter anyways." She sniffed primly and waved her wand, effectively turning him into an elephant, and walked out of the room.

"For Christ's sake, Ronald, if I didn't know better I would say you loved the chap stick more than me."

He trumpeted franticly, trying to deny it, earning him a shout from down the hallway.

"10 points from Gryffindor and detention with me tonight Mr. Weasley!"


End file.
